Birthday wishes?

[Mike K.]

My birthday is this month - in a few days actually and I don't wish for anything (except a few things I won't ask for). The problem is that I'm asked frequently by my mom, wife and kids and don't know what to tell them. With my wife I've asked her for things over the years a couple of times and it seems as though she wants me to give her ideas and will purchase what I ask for if she wants me to have it but won't purchase them if she doesn't appreciate what I'm asking for. I can give specific examples if you want but I don't think they're necessary to make my point. How do I tell her that the things I've told her previously are what I want? It seem as though she expects me to answer her question by telling her what I think she wants to give me. Help?

[lil mama]

That's definitely interesting that your wife would do that and I'm wondering what her reasons are. What if you, instead of asking for material possessions from her (which I assume you could very well go out and get yourself), ask for "experience" gifts. Ask her to take you to a great dinner or a night on the town? That way there could be something in it for her too. Good luck!

[Mike K.]

Thanks for the advice. I've tried that. Mainly I've asked to do things that would allow us to spend time together, some romantic, others more in line with making our relationship a priority and re-dedicating ourselves toward that goal. One time she purchased a book that had 101 activities for us together and we decided to do two a week. Half were for him to select, half were for her to select so we each chose one per week. That lasted for awhile and accomplished its goal but we did not complete them all, unfortunately.

[The Green Meeme]

This sounds like my mother. She gets me what she thinks I want or need- and does not listen to my suggestions or wishes.
The only thing I could say is get yourself something and just tell her- hey I got this and I'd like it be my gift from you or the kids... or it was my gift to myself-- of course that gets you in the trap of your wife buying her own gifts also...

Have you told your wife point blank that she does not respect your wishes by instead getting things that She thinks you want? Maybe she thinks she just knows better or is being more practical... maybe she truly does not know she's irritating you.

Good luck. Wish I had better advice for you!

[The Green Meeme]

So, whatever happened when your birthday rolled around, Mike?
This year for my birthday- also September- I bought a sailing trip for myself and my husband. It's what I wanted, and sometimes I need more than the practical presents. I'm totally a bling girl- but I also feel it's such a waste to do some of the material things...especially expensive ones.
This year I wanted the experience. And I got it. It was a fabulous day sailing- the best weather ever!
Hope your birthday went just as well and you had a great time.... if not-- splurge on yourself during the holidays or on your anniversary...

Good luck!

[Mike K.]

She did very well this year. I'm going skydiving tomorrow! Something I always say, "Id love to do that someday" when the topic comes up. Well, someday is tomorrow and I'm very excited. She totally came through on this.

[The Green Meeme]

Oh, Very Awesome!! I'm glad she heard you and I'm glad you're getting to do something you've always wanted!

[Mike K.]

It was a total blast. Not sure but I might be addicted to it. I WILL do it again.