Dealing with Family who don't understand 'the green thing'

[Becky]

In my attempts to be greener I have bumped heads with some relatives who think I'm just being overprotective or jumping on the new 'trendy' green 'thing'. I'm wondering if other people have had similar issues and how you delt with them? I find myself appologizing for the choices I'm making and I really don't feel like I should have to.

[Kirstin]

I have experienced this as well. Friends and family don't have the interest or concerns for the "green things" I've been learning about (BPA, phthalates, etc) so I think I may look at bit hysterical to them. I'm not pushy about it - just informative.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've been in Babies R Us, have noticed someone buying an "evil plastic baby bottle", as I refer to them, and have wanted to gently say, "can I make a suggestion to you?" The one time I did this with the Dr. Brown's bottles (suggested the new polypropylene instead of the clear polycarbonate ones), the mom-to-be just looked at me unfazed and said, "well they're all out of those so I guess I'll stick with this one."

I like to share what I know - some people just don't hear the alarm bells.

[Sommer]

Now this is a topic you should submit for the Green Voice Post I had. Positively Green Magazine is looking for ideas like this!

I've had this happen so many times from family member and very close friends. It's hard. They think I'm being silly and buying into stupid stuff. Others are proud of me. My sister buys Shaklee from me but then bought a bug bomb and used it in her house. Some people just don't get it. I don't do this for you to buy it from me but because I care about the environment and my health, their health and their children's health. Some people can't get it because it's a new concept, to them.

A good example is this: my dad told me four years ago to use glass bottles. He said he got an email about the plastic Avent ones. I rolled my eyes at him. Whatever, why would Avent make dangerous baby bottles. Nah. Well, he was right and I was wrong. I didn't want to believe him or that it was even possible. I wasn't ready to learn about it, understand it or embrace it. It meant change and it meant being different from what everyone else was doing. Now, I could care less. Then, I wasn't mature enough.

Another example, I had a booth about using non-toxic cleaners at a festival last year. Five thousand attendees and I was accross from the kids park. Moms looked at me all day and night. A few came over but not many. I had balloons and flyers and walked over through the park. I was the freak. "What, she doesn't use Clorox Wipes?" Figuring out your doing something wrong when you love your kids so much, doesn't feel good. Figuring out that the t.v. and markeing lie to you, doesn't feel good. People don't like this.

So keep doing what your doing and someday they will understand, when they are ready.

Sommer

[Becky]

I did submit it, sort of. I broadened the idea to etiquette in green situations not only with family or friends but in other situations too (like the one kristin mentioned in the store).

Having a booth at a festival seems like a great way to get the word out, but it also seems like it would be expensive.. do you finance this stuff yourself?

[Sommer]

Yes. I fund everything myself and that's why advertising, donations and my Shaklee Business support my efforts. It is hard though.

[Heidi Ahrens]

Yeah it happens with me too and what is funny is that my parents were these granola hippies when I was a child. My father thinks I should be working 70 hour weeks and eating at crappy restaurants. Instead I have all natural products at home, organic food and I stay home 3/4 time with my daughter.

I guess he does not like it that I have no money for anything else but green toilet paper.

Others just think it is a weird cult thing that is weird.
www.outdoorbaby.net

[Lynette Radio]

For me, it's a matter of showing them the 'real world' implications of the alternatives. Like, using soap, shampoo, detergents, etc. that are friendly, and not effing up my septic tank. Saving $500 a year to get it drained because all the chemicals are killing the good bacteria is a real eye-opener. Real life examples, something more immediate and tangible seem to do the trick for me.

[Maggie]

Hi - my husband is one of these people. Well, he's pretty supportive, actually, but drew the line recently after I bought a much-coveted compost tumbler and we found it full of maggots. He said "We do enough already." I don't think we honestly do that much, but I am a maven when it comes to recycling, I have to say.

You know, my dad was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and really reading about ways to make the immune system stronger has given me a lot of confidence about the choices I make. Generally, the concept is to remove toxins from your environment, and, in my opinion, many of these toxins come from plastic products. At this point, I'd like to see my dad making better choices for himself re: environmental toxins. My issue is not that my family so much changes me, but that family (my siblings) that live close to my dad, don't seem to get it. For example, my sister just flew home and she helped my dad paint the master bedroom. Did they even use a low-VOC paint? You know what, I don't even waste my time asking. These are my same siblings that don't realize they shouldn't be taking over big chunks of red meat for meals on the weekend, that dad shouldn't be spraying the yard with pesticides, etc., etc. So my frustration isn't so much with what they might say to me, but that they even fail to think outside their own boxes to what is best for dad.

I know that's off-topic, but it's a very hard world when it comes to getting people to just do ONE thing different. You know, I think the thing is you just have to do what you do when you do it. For example, when my brother came out to visit us, I found him bringing his meat-and-potatoes lifestyle out to us for the one week he was here. You know, I went along with it, but I don't see that as a failure it on my part, I see it as a failure on his to pause long enough to observe a different way of eating, a different way of living.

[lisa gadberry]

I get the "oh, she's gone granola on us!" . Sometimes I can make a point, and people listen. Most of the time I know they are listening to be polite but will stick with their products of convience. Products that most Americans trust are those that are heavily advertised so they feel familair to them. The products I try to get my family on are either too hard to find, or too expensive compared to what they already use, so if I do make an impact it's the follow thru that falls short. So at christmas time I make facial cream for my sisters with a link to cosmeticdatabase.com on the jar, I decorate canvas bags and put factoids on them and send them as gifts. I reuse CD cases as photo cubes and plant the seeds this way. If I don't impact them, and they use my gifts it is at least a small start. I have to breath deep and not take it personally. I didn't get Green until I had kids, so I have to wonder what is the motivation for the others?(because the obvious is not the answer!!) We are here with you and going thru the same thing, hang in there. As going Green becomes more mainstream they will be turning to a pro like you for guidance!

[The Green Meeme]

I think people just do what they do, and they think what they think... Some people can be convinced... but a lot of the green movement doesn't seem realistic it seems fundamentalist. People think it's all a bunch of hooey.
My family is very critical of most of the things i do- green or otherwise, and I've just (finally?) learned to ignore them and do what I think is right-- because... hey, i DO have my own thoughts, my own opinions and my own feelings--i DO NOT have to follow everything they want me to do.
The good news is you can have Some impact... You are doing what You can, and sometimes you hit just the right points.
ie- with my parents-- they are set in their ways, older, and obviously know better than I. But- they pay to have their garbage hauled away- so- by helping them to know that there is lots more than can recycle, they immediately got on that bandwagon.
A friend hassles me all the time for my treehugger issues- but it doesn't bother me. AND she set out a recycle bucket for parties-- and that is a start, too.
Every tiny bit makes a difference- and we can't do it all-- whether it be green or anything else.

Keep it up, though- You ARE helping!!

[Jennifer Smith]

My in laws think going green is a joke. They roll eyeballs and give crazy looks, all from the family that has a higher electric bill then land payment!! I just typed about this on twitter, so funny I can across this immediately after!
Jen
Eco-Office Gals

[Tara Burner]

I've been ridiculed for years and years now. Have been called a new millenium hippie, granola tree hugger and I just laugh and say "oh is that an insult? because to me that's a compliment".
Ironically most of the people who laughed at me are now making slow gradual changes as they become more educated.
One thing I never do is force feed people and be pushy. They see how we live and make comments or ask and honestly being a living example is much better than shoving unsolicited information down someone's throat.
Tara

[Christy]

My aunt just told me that she doesn't even know me anymore, we were raised together like sisters so that was pretty profound. However, the person that she DID know, I no longer want to be (self-involved, egotistical, and totally not green). Mind you this is not solely because of my efforts to go green...but I can sympathize with you.

Many people have called me a health food nut and I have been quick to correct them on that...simply because I am a far cry from where I want to be health-wise. Some of my in-laws have actually said that I imagined all of the huge purple blisters that were caused by SLS (I guess I imagined the scars they left too) and that it is all in my head.

My experiences have shown me that others are super quick to criticize my lifestyle but then get easily offended if I try to explain why we do what we do. Mainly because they feel convicted by what I am saying I don't want to do. Mind you I am not saying "because I don't want to live like you" just simply saying we homeschool because of the many problems in our local school system...we don't eat that because it is full of dyes...stuff like that.